A safe space for lycanthropes navigating identity, transformation, and dating. Meetings held monthly (avoiding full moons, obviously).
Meetings: 2nd Saturday · 7pm · Bring SnacksBetween transformations, shedding, and the perpetual lint roller situation, managing fur is a full-time job. We cover grooming techniques, hypoallergenic dating strategies, and how to explain the hair in the shower drain to your roommate.
Every MeetingWhen is howling appropriate? What are the rules about howling at your ex's window? Can you howl during a Zoom call and claim it was your dog? Our etiquette committee has opinions.
Quarterly WorkshopWhen do you tell her? The third date? Before the first full moon together? What if she thinks you're just really into hiking? Navigating romance when you transform monthly requires strategy, honesty, and a good alibi.
Popular TopicHardwood floors. Drywall. That one door frame. We maintain a database of plausible excuses and have a referral network of werewolf-friendly contractors who don't ask questions.
Resource SharingThe dread of the approaching moon. The morning-after confusion. The identity questions. Licensed therapist (and part-time shapeshifter) Dr. Elara Nightshade facilitates a safe space for processing.
Facilitated Session| Situation | Acceptable? | Volume | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Seeing the full moon | Yes | Involuntary. No judgment. | |
| Your ex posted a new photo | Understandable | Close the windows first. | |
| Someone brought pie to group | Encouraged | A respectful howl of gratitude. | |
| Zoom meeting with coworkers | No | Mute. Always mute. | |
| She texts back | Allowed (private) | Into a pillow. Dignity first. | |
| Hearing another werewolf howl | Mandatory | Pack protocol. No exceptions. | |
| Dr. Mittens slow-blinks at you | Conflicted | A quiet whine is more appropriate. Respect the alliance. |
Need to explain the property damage? We've got you covered.
Set your phone's calendar to alert you 3 days before full moons. Label it something innocuous like "self-care night" or "deep conditioning treatment." Your coworkers will think you're just really into skincare.
Keep a go-bag with spare clothes, wet wipes, granola bars, and a plausible cover story. Waking up in a forest 20 miles from home is less stressful when you have clean socks.
Remove all silver before a date. If she's wearing silver and you flinch, blame it on a "nickel allergy." If she asks why you won't wear the necklace she bought you, say it clashes with your energy.
If a neighbor reports seeing a large wolf-like creature in the yard, tell them your friend's Great Pyrenees got out. Everyone believes in a big fluffy dog. Nobody questions the big fluffy dog.
Transforming burns approximately 4,000 calories. Stock up on protein, carbs, and electrolytes. Aunt Carol's casserole recipe is group-approved for recovery mornings.
In 2022, Dr. Mittens, reigning champion of the Competitive Napping League (14 consecutive hours, uncontested), extended a slow-blink of diplomatic recognition to the Lesbian Werewolf Support Group. The alliance was ratified over tuna and raw steak.
Dr. Mittens attends meetings as an honorary member, offering counsel primarily through slow blinks, strategic purring, and the occasional judgmental stare. The alliance terms are simple: wolves do not chase cats, and cats do not judge the howling. Both parties agree that geese are the common enemy.
Dr. Mittens also serves as legal counsel via Cat Lawyer LLC for any claw-related property disputes.
Claw Damage Repair: Ask for Marco. He does drywall and doesn't ask questions. Cash only.
Post-Moon Recovery: Aunt Carol's Recipe Box — the casserole recipe under "Sunday Comfort" is group-endorsed.
Legal: Cat Lawyer LLC — property disputes, noise complaints, and "exotic pet" registrations.
Emotional Crisis: Brenda's Crystal Emporium — moonstone packages available (group discount code: FULLMOON15).
"The Werewolf's Guide to Property Maintenance" — available at the Forbidden Card Catalog (Section: Practical Lycanthropy, Shelf 7).
"Howling and Boundaries: A Workbook" — Dr. Elara Nightshade, self-published. Available at meetings.
"She Doesn't Know I'm a Werewolf: A Memoir" — Tamara Wolfe. Reviewed in Pigeon Post Weekly (3 stars, "would have been 4 but the binding smells like wet dog").